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2009-06-01

Welcome to the very first post of The Blasphemer's Bible! Our story begins with our trusted hero Quazar the Blasphemous. He has the exciting task of reliving the entire ancient epic, "The Bible".

While most web comics use a humorous multi-paneled strip layout, The Blasphemer's Bible is going to have a slightly different format. Each weekday, there will be a new panel to an on-going story. Think of it as reading a single panel of a strip comic each day. This is going to spread out the punchlines quite a bit, but I'll keep things interesting with these swell blog entries for each panel.

For those of you reading along at home, we begin our tale with Genesis 1:1.

The number that Quazar uses is the currently accepted age of the universe.

 

Comments

rimecuka writes:

 

why is there no mouth on the stick man? How can he talk if there is no mouth?

Ed writes:

 

I'm subscribing for the title alone!

merideth writes:

 

im commeting on every one... i hope.

Bluecheetos writes:

 

Hopefully more people are reading than commenting because this is funny. I have been telling friends to read it. (especially Mormons)

TheAlmightyGuru writes:

 

I'm sure they'll love it. ;-)

Bluecheetos writes:

 

I have my own religion. I believe in Jeff the God of Biscuits *hands you a cookbook* read this my son, and learn the ways of a true follower of Jeff. 8D

Katy writes:

 

Just discovered this today. What a wonderfully delicious idea! Although what you plan to do with Numbers, I have no idea ... I always spun on on Numbers, whenever I tried to get through the bloody thing ... (reading it as the fictional best-seller that it is, it's a wonderful thing - full of sex, violence and wonderfully over-wrought characters, many of whom are obviously insane).

TheAlmightyGuru writes:

 

Ah Numbers... I don't even want to think about that book yet!

This Site is a FAIL. writes:

 

The Almighty Guru?

Wow, how original.. YOu're biting off God and then dissing him. Perhaps you shouldve been a rapper in the 80's, like LL COOLJ.

Read the bible it tells you that time to God are much different than the 'days' we have here on earth. when speaking to us he may refer to our days.

LOL, you're name is funny - this is a truly ignorant person & website here, much caution to those that follow him.

This Site is a FAIL. writes:

 

We pray for you, but understand that not everyone will be saved - especially with this behavior.

Classic example of someone whose exposure to ill doctrine, religious fanatacism and probably molestation by an over zealous family member has caused them to devote time to hatred.

This Site is a FAIL. writes:

 

You claim to be the :

al·might·y   
[awl-mahy-tee] Show IPA
–adjective
1.
having unlimited power; omnipotent, as God.


gu·ru   
[goor-oo, goo-roo] Show IPA
–noun
1.
Hinduism . a preceptor giving personal religious instruction.

YOU are NEITHER, therefore you are a LIE.

If you lie about yourself, why should anyone believe anything you say here.

This Site is a FAIL.

TheAlmightyGuru writes:

 

"If you lie about yourself, why should anyone believe anything you say here."

Is your name actually "This Site is a FAIL." or are you just lying?

someguy writes:

 

see that's why i use the moiniker, i would hate for someone on the internet to assert that my screen name didn't accurately portray the facts of me life.

DoubleU writes:

 

I'd ignore Mr. "Fail"; he seems to be just looking to pick a fight.

Katy writes:

 

TROOOOOLLLLLL!!!!

Catherine writes:

 

THE BLAPHEMER'S BIBLE!?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME THIS IS TOTALLY DEVILISH, SATANIC, IT'S SATAN'S WORK!! HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE FACE OF GOD! WHOSE STUPID IDEA WAS THIS!!???

This Site is a Fail writes:

 

I agree with This Site is a Fail.

TheAlmightyGuru writes:

 

@Catherine: I'm not sure I understand you properly. Are you saying that the bible is Satan's work? Or are you just saying that this comic about the bible is Satan's work? The former, I'm not so sure about, but the latter is mine. And last I checked, I'm not Satan--though I look good in red.

Ray writes:

 

I wonder if there was a carpal tunnel doctor among all those people crossing the dessert that could treat Mosses for all that writing he was doing.
Hey Catherine, when you can show the rest of us a picture (which you have stated has a face) then we can talk. Apparently nobody else is aloud any different thoughts then the christian way. You know its a good thing here in America we have this document called THE BILL OF RIGHTS" Just to let you know that the American Flag does not stand for any one religion, and it never has. Even though I disagree with your ways of thinking, I would defend your right to do so Somebody said that, cant remeber who.

SoapyCola writes:

 

I really hope rapture is real for religious people, I could do w/o those morons.

Ashley writes:

 

This is horrible. I really am praying for anyone who likes this.

Techs writes:

 

@Ashley. Prayer has been placed under multiple tests for sick people in hospitals. Not only has it not been found to have any effect but if the patient is told they are being prayed for their health has a slight chance of getting worse.
Please read the bible along with this cartoon series and see which is worse.
.

Richard writes:

 

Monday, April 16th, 2012:

Just realized I never commented on the first comic, even though I have been reading them for ages. Hard to believe BB will be three years old in less than a month and a half.

To Ashley, I will agree with you. He sticks pretty close to what the Bible really says without sugar coating it. So yes, it is horrible. If people like it as fiction, they are fine. If people like it as reality, then no, they deserve no one's prayers, and are truly despicable people.

wyn writes:

 

Oh, wow, that "This Site is a FAIL"-guy is hilarious. I wish, he would still comment on here...

TheAlmightyGuru writes:

 

I know, he was a gold-mine of comedy!

tiffany co writes:

 

My spouse and I stumbled over here from a different web address and thought I might check things out. I like what I see so now i am following you. Look forward to finding out about your web page repeatedly.
tiffany co http://www.tiffany-jewelrys.us.com


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Oh the irony!