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2014-05-23

In Numbers 31-19-24 we’re informed of an unwritten conversation Moses had with God where he told Moses that anyone who murdered a Midianite or touched a corpse is unclean for a week and must remain outside of the camp until they can be sprinkled with ashy water and made “clean”. Gosh, I hope not all of the best spoils are already taken by the time they get back! Imagine going to war and then not even getting the chance to rape a single little girl afterward! #IsraeliteProblems

Eleazar further explains the unwritten conversation between Moses and God where God apparently told them to take any metal object they “liberated” and put it in fire to cleanse it of any Midianite filth. But any spoils that wouldn’t survive a fire, like wood, cloth, and hopefully, little girls, don’t need to be placed in fire, and can be washed in the magical water of separation. But, if you can make things pure with water, why do you even need the fire? Isn’t that a bit of overkill? Surely they’re not easing up on the ritual just to preserve the more fragile stolen goods?

Anyway, as promised from yesterday, here are some of the arguments apologists use to justify the invasion, murder, and rape of an entire culture:

Claim: God didn’t really command the death of all Midianites, that’s just a figure of speech common to the culture of the time.
Counter: Even when the Israelites spared the lives of a few helpless infants, Moses demanded that they too be killed. Therefore, this couldn’t have been just a figure of speech.

Claim: The Midianites were evil and deserved to be killed.
Counter: How could infants possibly have committed acts worthy of execution?

Claim: Those infants would have grown up in an evil environment and become evil.
Counter: That couldn’t possibly happen because the Israelites murdered their parents. The children could have been raised properly by the Israelites, but Moses murdered them anyway.

Claim: It was a better life for the virgin girls to be married to an Israelite man rather than grow up in an evil society.
Counter: A prisoner of war can never give consent, thus, any Israelite who took a child-bride (probably in addition to existing wives) was raping his female captive, regardless of their marriage status.

Claim: Rather than pity the Midianites, you should really feel bad for the Israelites who had to kill all those children, imagine how awful they felt having to do it (this is an actual argument made by professional scumbag, William Lane Craig).
Counter: Up until now, I never believed that someone could be the pure incarnation of evil, and then I met you.

As you can see, the arguments are just as terrible as the people who make them.

 

Comments

herbie writes:

 

Wasn't the father of Moses' wife Zipporah a high priest of Midia and therefore both were Midianites. What a mess!

TheAlmightyGuru writes:

 

Exactly! Moses just ordered the execution of his first wife, and every in-law, the people who took him in, saved his life, and treated him very well for many years. Nice payback!

Anonymous writes:

 

Jehovah's Witnesses are very fond of the "God saw they would all be evil, so he ordered their genocide, which is absolutely great and we should be happy for it" argument.

 

Oh the irony!