Comic








Others








Skepticism







Permalink

 

Rate:

 

Updated every weekday.         Please vote!    

 

2010-02-09

There is a grievous famine in the land, according to Genesis 12:10-13, so Abram and Sarai travel to Egypt to spend some time in a place with food. Apparently, the land that God offers to his most noble followers is about as plentiful as the Sahara. Thanks a lot God!

Before they entered Egypt, Abram concocts a scheme. He tells Sarai to masquerade as his sister, otherwise, the Egyptians will murder Abram and take Sarai for themselves because she's such a hottie. However, if they believe Abram is her brother, they will merely demand her hand in marriage, making her an adulterer, and leaving Abram unharmed. Basically, Abram is a pathetic coward who has no qualms about pimping out his wife.

The Egyptians probably weren't that brutal, but I think we can all agree that any culture that would condone the murder of a foreigner and the forcibly remarrying and eventual raping of his wife, is a very primitive and immoral culture. Even if this was practiced as a form of punishment, it's still reprehensible! This is kind of ironic, because this is EXACTLY what God tells the Hebrews to do later in the bible (Deuteronomy 21:11-13)!

Visit http://www.quizland.com/hiero.htm if you're curious about what the sign says.

 

Comments

Ray writes:

 

I guess it's a better choice than having her killed. Perhaps.

But what I'm wondering is how Abram knew of this Egyptian policy or such in the first place??

Also, that's a very small river. Or is it a puddle? Or a canyon filled with some strange blue.... Stuff?

lycanox writes:

 

If you lived here, you would be home by now?

just me writes:

 

Does the sign say anything meaningful?
Coz from my attempt (which could probably be described as epic failure), I get something like:
ifywwlifȝdhȝrȝywwwwldbȝhimȝbynyww

TheAlmightyGuru writes:

 

Ray: The bible says only that the Egyptians would have killed Abram, not Sarai. And that blue thing is obviously a beautiful rendition of the Nile!

lycanox: Well done sir! 5 points!

Uncle Jellyfish writes:

 

$2,000 says I could jump over that Nile River in a single bound! Let's just hope that Abram doesn't get the idea to "pitch some tents" while he's in Egypt. All of those alters would likely make the Egyptions really angry, not to mention that it'd likely be the first recorded case of "tent pitching" getting someone killed. XD

Ray writes:

 

@TAG. Sorry to object, but in my humble opinion, that still doesn't explain how he knows about it.

Baughbe writes:

 

Perhaps just a hint of paranoia? And so typical to fear that others will do to you what is your own darkest desire to do to them.

TheAlmightyGuru writes:

 

Ray: Objection! Hold It! Take That! Oops... The bible doesn't explain how Abram learned that the Egyptians would want to murder him. Baughbe give a good answer: xenophobia. The Canaanites may have believed that the Egyptians were barbarians. No doubt, considering how unsophisticated justice was at the time, the Egyptians may have killed their fair share of innocent people. However, this would be during Egypt's Middle Kingdom era when they were one of the most civilized regions of the world. It's doubtful that wanton murder and rape would be allowed within its borders, despite what the bible says.

thatpersonoverthere writes:

 

Rape and killing of a foriegner in ancient Egypt wasn't acceptable, especially if they had marketable skills. They were probably just mad jealous that the Egyptian gods and goddess were a lot hotter and could be understood better (no mysterious ways here, thanks) than an invisible god who changed its mind a lot about everything. I've seen teenaged girls more decisive than this fellow.

Dixieland writes:

 

I recently found this 'bible' and have been reading them all the way through for about 2 weeks now. I wasn't going to comment until I got to the end but I just spent 30 minutes deciphering the hieroglyphs and then realized someone already had! Lol.

TheAlmightyGuru writes:

 

@Dixieland: It happens to the best of us! ;-)

Katy writes:

 

Well, though, Abram didn't lie, he just omitted - Sarai is his (half)sister! He just wanted her to neglect to tell them he was also her husband. The annoying thing (and I suppose I'm providing spoilers, sorry) is that whenever he pulled this, it wasn't he & Sarai who were punished for lying, it was whomever was fooled by them and married Sarai ...

TheAlmightyGuru writes:

 

@Katy: This is a semantic argument. Many consider a lie of omission to still be a lie. But even if you don't consider a lie of omission to be a lie, you still have to admit that he's not being entirely honest.

Katy writes:

 

Oh, absolutely - I was just playing my favorite game - Devil's Advocate :-)

Architeuthis Ducks writes:

 

I personally have decided that Deuteronomy should never be quoted by anyone, ever. Every other thing in it (women marrying their rapists, disobedient sons being stoned to death, etc.) has been deemed wrong, yet people still use it to justify homophobia! Like has happened for centuries prior, could we all agree that Deuteronomy doesn't exist? Replace it with cat pictures or something, you'll probably get more out of it.


Make A Comment

Name:

Comment:

 

HTML is disabled.

 

Oh the irony!