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Updated every weekday.         Please vote!    

 

2010-04-26

With Lot out of the picture, we're back to dealing with the devious couple of Abraham and Sarah who are now in the land of Gerar. These two do an awful lot of traveling for a couple who were awarded the promised land. One must wonder if the promised land (in the middle of a rocky desert) is all it's cracked up to be.

Anyway, remember back in Genesis 12 where Abraham and Sarah bilked Pharaoh out of a bunch of slaves and livestock? Well, in Genesis 20, we find them up to their same old tricks! Abraham is no doubt a skilled con-artist; he travels from kingdom to kingdom, passing off his hot wife as his sister in order to sell her to the king, only to blackmail him later. It's actually a wonderful racket since the bible tells us that he was insanely wealthy.

So, Abe the Shark and Sarah the Whore, con poor helpless Abimelech. But he must have been really freaking horny because Sarah is around 95-years-old now, and even though people are living well into the 100s at this point in the bible, 95 is still getting up there. Let's assume that Sarah's body matures in pace with her unusually long life. In the bible, she dies at age 127, but we'll round up to 130. Since she's about 95 now, that means that she's about 19/26ths of the way through her life. Comparing this with an old age of 80, she would look about 58. There aren't that many successful prostitutes in their late 50s, and keep in mind, this is 58 without cosmetic surgery, dentists, deodorant, or Clinique. Translation, not that hot.

 

Comments

Ray writes:

 

Yeah, but you have to remember, they're fictional characters. Also, even if they did exist, most of them were really stupid, considering the lack of education back in those days, if they ever happened, that is.

By the way, Qazar, aren't you ruining Abraham's con by announcing it is a con within earshot of Abimelech?

Sanders writes:

 

Moses should have offered some tips from ol' Abe's super schemes. This must be what the Illuminati is hiding.

Winterset writes:

 

One thing that all this age-related non-sense keeps reminding me of is a theory of life extension being considered by some scientists based on the fact that for most mammal species there is a specific ratio between physical development time and life expectancy.

From what I've read, in nearly all mammals you can pretty much determine the average life expectancy by figuring out how long it takes for the individual members to reach sexual maturity. It's something like 1:14 on average, but for humans it's more like 1:6 or 1:7. The theory is that a natural human lifespan *should* be more like 200 years and that something went wrong with our genetics along the evolutionary path somewhere that's making us age way too quickly after puberty.

Sounds interesting, but not interesting enough (to me) for me to spend a lot of time looking further into it. Anyone else read anything about that?

Winterset writes:

 

And also, currently at 171 votes placing you at #271.

Come on, guys, TWC!

TheAlmightyGuru writes:

 

Ray: Nah, Abimelech is too concerned about getting laid to listen to anyone but Abraham.

Winterset: I never put two-and-two together on that, but humans do take an awfully long time to reach sexual maturity compared to other mammals. I did some searching, but most of the articles about it are in scientific journals that I don't have access to. Anyone have a link to a paper or article on this?

Sander the Great writes:

 

Its cause God keeps looking in on them and he doesn't want to look at ugly people so maybe he's keeping them good looking with his magic powers.

 

Oh the irony!