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Updated every weekday.         Please vote!    

 

2010-05-24

You know, if I heard a voice in my head saying, "This is God; I want you to murder your son and burn his corpse." I would immediately check myself into a mental institution because I would assume I was suffering from schizophrenia. However, I were a Christian and I heard the same whisper in my head, I would probably think that Satan was trying to trick me into murdering someone. This is because I can't possibly believe that a loving god would ever ask me to murder someone! Abraham, however, doesn't even have a second thought when he's told to hurl his own son into a pile of flaming tinder.

I'd also like to point out that God says that Abraham only has one son. Uh, God... what about Ishmael? Are you suffering from anterograde amnesia? The response often given by believers is when God told Abraham that Isaac was his only son, what God meant to say was that Isaac is his only son who God promised to give him. It's a shame that a perfect and all-powerful God can't write a concise book, but thankfully we have his followers who tell us what the bible is supposed to say.

Today is comic #256, which has special meaning to us computer programmers.

 

Comments

Ray writes:

 

And, by extension, last Friday's comic is also significant to computer programmers. No offense, IIRC, isn't 255 also a special number to them?

But yeah, if I heard a voice telling me to kill & burn my only son, I'd probably be quite annoyed since I don't believe in telepathy. That and I don't have a son.

TheAlmightyGuru writes:

 

Yes, 255 is significant, but only because of 256. Computers start counting at 0 instead of 1. Therefore, using a byte for counting gives you 0-255. This gives you 256 values to work with, even if you never actually see the number 256.

Ima Lemming writes:

 

Or maybe what God meant by "your only son whom you love" was Abraham didn't love Ishmael. I wouldn't put it beyond him.

Also, maybe the story comes later but was a prequel or something, but has Lucifer even defied God and been turned into Satan yet?

TheAlmightyGuru writes:

 

Ima Lemming: The "whom you love" part is actually part of a different thought in the bible. I've added a comma to comic to help it match up to the bible better.

And the story of Lucifer's fall is in various books in the prophets section (much later). The prophets are basically the John Edwards and Sylvia Brownes of their generation. They read like fan fictions, adding to the canon, but not being able to agree on the additions. Most of the Lucifer text can be found in Ezekiel and Isaiah.

Ima Lemming writes:

 

Ah, my bad.

I never read the thing so I don't know when Satan's first appearance was, but he was around by Job. According to Wikipedia, Ezekiel and Isaiah come later. Does that mean Satan randomly showed up one day, then a few books later they decided to give his backstory?

TheAlmightyGuru writes:

 

Ima Lemming: To some extent Satan jumps around, but the bible is not written in chronological order. It starts out mostly chronological with the Torah and the Major Prophets, but then it goes starts to go all over the place with the Minor Prophets and the Ketuvim.

 

Oh the irony!