Comic








Others








Skepticism







Permalink

 

 

Updated every weekday.         Please vote!    

 

2010-07-14

The story of Esau and Jacob is like the very first jock / nerd rivalry. Genesis 25:27 informs us that Esau was a cunning hunter who enjoyed the great outdoors and brought many fuzzy delicious woodland creatures to their death. Jacob, on the other hand, spent most of his time in tents, no doubt playing Dungeons & Dragons and trying to download nude pictures of Captain Janeway.

Really, you have to ask yourself, are you on Team Jacob or Team Esau?

The family is extremely screwed up, not because Esau tortures animals and Jacob writes Robocop fan fiction, but because of how their parents act. Genesis 25:28 says that Isaac loved Esau for the sole reason that he ate venison, which, apparently, is the same reason why Rebekah doesn't love him.

What kind of failed parent loves one child over the other because of their dietary habits? "Sorry son, no birthday gifts this year, you didn't eat enough venison. I'm just going to have to spend all that extra money on your brother. Now there's a boy who can consume copious conglomerations of comestible cervidae!" This is pathetic.

Actually, according to Romans 9:13, God hates Esau. No reason is given in the entire bible as to why God might hate Esau, but the all-loving, all-forgiving God of the bible, hates Esau. What a fun chap this God is.

 

Comments

Fan Girl Laura writes:

 

Woot first post

Fan Girl Laura writes:

 

Well any way That is messed up I love meat but well... He he my parents don't like that about me the fact that I can look at a cow before I eat it, yes I know where my burger comes from and where my steak dose to but I don't kill a butt load of animals just so tha someone will love me. Oh I'm still alive sorry I haven't posted in eon's but I got my hands ful I have read ans kep up with Blasphemer's bible. I met someone and we hit off so well that he invited me to his gun shop (He's Texan by the way) and well... -///- I'm a bad bad women... I ended up playing hide the bullet with him but instead of doing the walk of shame the next day he was kind enough to introduce me to his family ^.^ fingerd crossed he might be the one. <3

Flying Omelette writes:

 

And thus begins the plot of Lost...but I don't remember the Man in Black being that hairy.

Ima Lemming writes:

 

So Ray, you omniscient yet?

Does anyone else keep thinking of Enkidu from the Gilgamesh epic when they hear about Esau?

Ray writes:

 

Nope. Besides, I don't want it right now. It would mean knowing what Esau would look like if he was real. I don't want that picture in my mind!!

I wonder if Esau & Jacob would get along, if they roleplayed Esau murdering Jacob....? It would probably be Esau's suggestion though.

Also, I'm tired of typing/saying "Esau". It sounds like "E-Sow" which sounds like some sort of.... Internet pig or something.

Tmowlee writes:

 

I can't tell if he has red hair or if he's covered in blood.

TheAlmightyGuru writes:

 

@Tmowlee: A little of column A, a little of column B!

 

Oh the irony!