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2011-12-07

During the majority of the time I was a Christian, I probably only read about 1/100th of the bible. Nearly all of my reading was limited to the New Testament, 99% of the verses I read were cherry-picked quotes divorced from their context, and all of it was interpreted for me so I didnít have to use my own brain. Most of the quotes I heard from preachers were beautiful and elegant, but even the controversial ones were polished to a contention-free shine. This is why people wax poetic about the bible. When you only see the good bits, itís easy to assume thereís nothing but good bit, and when itís watered-down and reinterpreted, itís easy to apply the bible to your modern life and modern morals.

Years ago, in an attempt to become a better Christian, I decided to sit down and actually read the bible. I figured that further reading would only make me a more fervent believer. Fortunately, the exact opposite occurred. If you followed along in Genesis, you know how crazy ridiculous it is, and so it was the reading of the bible that played a huge part of my deconversion.

This leads me to Exodus 19:21-25, which offers up another one of those highly unbelievable moments the bible is famous for. Once Moses gets to the top of the mountain, God tells him to march right back down and tell the Israelites not to bum rush the mountain, because mortals will die if they see God. Please ignore the fact that a mortal is staring at God as he says this. Moses is also told by God to remind the priests that they must consecrate themselves before coming up the mountain. Of course, Moses reminds God that death waits for anyone who so much as touches the mountain. Which means that God forgot, and memory loss is not the kind of thing you attribute to the omnipotent!

Upon being corrected, God tells Moses to head back down the mountain, and then climb back up with Aaron, who must also be immune to Godís gaze of death. As Moses heads back down for his 800th descent, God reminds him to tell the priests not to touch the mountain, or God will violently kill them. He seems to remember quite clearly now.

 

Comments

Techs writes:

 

Bwuhahaha, snort!. Haven't read the bilbe since I was a Teen. Don't remember this. Thanks.

Richard writes:

 

I just read the actual bible text these last few comics are taken from... and it is far worse than they make it out to be. At one point, it seems like Moses is both with the people talking to them AND on the mountain talking to god, while being on the mountain and traveling to the mountain.

TheAlmightyGuru writes:

 

Indeed Richard, there are no segues from Moses on the mountain, and Moses in the camp--you are just expected to know.

Larqua writes:

 

funny, I had a similar issue with reading the bible and suddenly losing a lot of faith.

For some reason my parents couldn't wrap their heads around that.

Ima Lemming writes:

 

I had a vaguely similar experience with my deconversion, only I didn't read the Bible itself; I read this site. Then I checked places like Skeptic's Annotated Bible and The Brick Testament. Then my faith was dead as dirt.

Belg writes:

 

Pros of being born incommunist country is that you a rised atheist ...

PS: God (the one that embodies love and compassion): "Oh yeah, violent killing, how could I forget that? Must take notes, never to forget violent killing!"

Sander the Great writes:

 

Same happen to me I was a devote catholic and was even think of priesthood around the time I was 16 so I read the bible. Then I asked a bunch of questions an was given BS answers still took me a few years before I could really say to myself that I didn't believe anymore.

 

Oh the irony!