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And you thought only the LDS church was silly enough to wear magic underwear! No, in Exodus 28:31-43, God commands his priests to wear, not only magic underwear, but also a magic robe, a magic turban, and a magic golden seal in order to be able to enter the Holy Place without being killed by the awesomeness of God’s presence. That’s an awful lot of layers in the desert! A more reasonable explanation for this is that the priests didn’t want anyone cutting in on their lavish lifestyle, so they told everyone that God would murder them if they ever set foot into the tabernacle without the proper clothing, which, as it just so happens, can only be worn by priests. Here’s a funny thought, since the tabernacle is made of curtains, there is a good chance that at some point a priest actually said, “Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!”

There’s also another translation problem with the robe. The bible says that the robe should be like a tachara’, but nobody knows what that word means. The KJV translators use “haubergeon”, a small military shirt, the NIV says tachara’ refers to the collar of the robe, the God’s Word Bible says it’s specifically a leather collar, and several commentators refer to the garment as a corselet. The interesting part isn’t so much the variation found in these translations, but how each of them pass off their guesses as absolute fact. Some of them are even demonstrably wrong. The American Standard Version translates tachara’ to mean “coat of mail”, even though mail wasn’t used until around 300 BCE, five centuries after this was written.

Some commentators explain the garment as being in the style of the the Egyptians, which I find hilarious. The Israelites spent all of that time enslaved by Egyptians, went through all the plagues and trials of the desert, all to be their own people again, and then God tells them to start dressing like the false-god worshiping culture he just destroyed! They must have been thrilled!



Maju writes:


"And you thought only the LDS church was silly enough to wear magic underwear!"

Admittedly I did... but I also thought that ancient Hebrews were a fringe wacko cult just like the LSD thing that of Utah. Actually Joseph Smith is very much like Moses in his own way: a total fraud but also totally like his model.

Dixieland Delight writes:


I wonder if all the major monotheistic religions didn't start out as a wacky cult until they gained a large enough group to actually terrorize people - like the Jews probably did back then, the Christians did more recently, and the Muslims are doing now.

Baughbe writes:


"God;s Word Bible says it's specifically a leather collar" - That's a bit more than I needed to visualize at this time of the morning. They must have really orgasmic services then.

Baughbe writes:


Thinking about it, quite a few of the various sects, cults or religions depending on how you define them, started off as con jobs or gags. But attempt to create an actual conherent and beneficial religion and I'd bet it would fail right off. So maybe there is a deep seated need in most people to be had.

Richard writes:


Dixieland Delight, yes. Yes they did. Every single one of them. Religions don't spontaneously generate in large populations. There is always a ringleader or organizing group.

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Oh the irony!