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2013-04-29

Back in Leviticus 19:27-28 we were told that nobody could trim their hair or beards, cut themselves, or get tattoos. Now in Leviticus 21:5-6, weíre told that priests canít do these things (sans the tattoo prohibition).

Now, a clever believer would read this and go, ďOh, I see what happened here! An older text once existed where only the priests had to abide by these odd hair-cutting rules, but then at some point in history a scribe made a mistake and left out the Ďpriests onlyí part. And since Iím not a priest, I can cut my hair and get tattoos.Ē

Alas, Orthodox Jews donít think in this manner, and believe that God intended to write these rules twice, once for everyone, and then again for priests. And he must have purposely left out the prohibition on tattoos for priests, because that line isnít repeated.

God then repeats the prohibition on profaning the name of God, only furthering the idea that Leviticus is a massive scrambled crap shoot. Finally, God explains why priests are to be so holy. Itís not because he wants them to be kind to others or decrease the suffering of their fellow men, itís because they are the ones who give him offerings through fire; they keep God fed! That is why they must be holy.

So, not only does God need food to eat, but he also can only be fed by holy people. This religion is getting crazier by the verse!

 

Comments

Ladyofthemasque writes:

 

"Oh, I'm sorry, you can't get into the special Night Club where God partaaays; you have tattoos, strange haircuts, and you've clearly pierced your ears and stuff. No, no, those priests can come right through; yeah, one of 'em has a little "I LUV God" tattoo, but he's a priest. NO, you cannot even send a message to God reminding Him you're one of his 'homeys'...because God can only be talked to by priests, and only priests can carry the messages...and only priests can write the messages. You're too lame, get outta here before I toss you into the street, you plebian loser!"

...Yeah. I'd start to wonder if "God" even existed if He could only be accessed by special priest actions. It's all just a god-damned power-hoarding scam, if you ask me...

Baughbe writes:

 

Lady, you hit the nail on the head. All religions and pretty much any organized associations are for the sole purpose of gathering and holding power.

 

Oh the irony!