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Updated every weekday.         Please vote!    

 

2013-10-25

In Numbers 5:25-31 the outcome of the potion is explained. After all the rigmarole of making the potion, writing out the curse, threatening the woman’s lady parts with putrefaction, and having her accept the oath, she finally drinks the potion. After that, the priest takes the grain from her, waves it before god, and burns a handful.

Now, according to the God of the bible, if she is guilty of infidelity, her sexual organs will decay to the point where all her future pregnancies will be aborted; yes God’s punishment for cheating is causing abortions. If her organs do shrivel up, everyone will know she’s guilty, and she will be treated as a pariah among her people. However, and here’s the interesting part, there is no mention of her being executed, even though earlier we were told that cheating women must be executed. I’m presuming that in this case the cursed genitals counts as punishment rather than execution.

Now onto the potion. A little ink and some dusty water isn’t going to cause a woman’s vagina to fall out, so what’s really going on here? Well, two things. One, the test may have been created just to scare the wife into admitting guilt. It’s essentially a type of torture; if you can convince someone that their internal organs will rot inside their body unless they give you some information, they’re probably going to give you the desired information. Of course, just like torture, they’ll give you the information whether it’s true or not just to end the torture, which is why torture is so unreliable.

The second point, since God doesn’t explain how big the potion is to be, or a holy water-to-dust ratio, each priest may adjust the potion to suit their desires. What if the priest fancies to woman? What if he hates her? What if the husband is trying to off his wife and pays the priest for a little extra interrogation? Surely these conditions will affect the contents of the potion. If the priest is sweet on the wife, he only need give her a cup of water with a sprinkle of sand, but if he has a vendetta, we could be looking at a gallon of silt. Drinking that much mud can cause serious health problems that could easily be explained as her sex organs failing “proving” the woman was guilty.

Finally, if she’s innocent, she will be exonerated by being able to continue to have babies; no-harm, no-foul, right? Is that it? No punishment for the husband for being a jealous paranoid asshole? Of course not, this is the bible we’re talking about here, not a book of egalitarian justice. The woman was threatened, forced to drink filth, and she isn’t even owed an apology! Praise God. And by the way, do wives get to test their husband’s in this manner when they are suspicious of their fidelity? Of course not!

Final verdict: Who cares? 900 COMICS!

 

Comments

Trouble writes:

 

I bet the right to life people will want to go after god for causing abortions. Oh wait, don't most of them get their moral high ground from religion? So confusing. Maybe god gets a pass on that point.

sam writes:

 

I grew up in a religious home and went to a catholic school and i have never heard of the "abortions curse potion" in my life. it's more like people choose not to teach the bible when it's inconvenient. people don't read the bible they get it taught to them and only the what's convenient to teach.

tussock writes:

 

W00+! 900 Comics!

Maju writes:

 

"Abortion is sacred" chanted FEMEN activists in the Spanish Congress a few days ago. Who would have thought that the Bible itself proves them right?

Congrats for the 900th panel. Still thousands to go! *maniacal evil laugh* :D

Anonymous writes:

 

Having pointed this out to a pro-lifer just last night, the response I got was "CONTEXT THIS IS GOD DOING THE JUDGING NOT HUMANS BECAUSE HUMANS DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT DIVINE POTTER BLAH BLAH BLAH."

 

Oh the irony!